Garnets - Too Much Garnish

This may surprise you but quite honestly I am not shy nor am I without opinion on most things. When speaking to friends, I share my thoughts. When online- I give my two cents. However, when I am in public- I do try to zip these lipsticked lips if the conversation doesn't include me. At times, that does become quite difficult though. Yesterday was one of those days.


I stood in Starbucks yesterday morning waiting for my Grande Caramel Macchiato Soy and contemplating the whole "Christmas shopping" chore. I grumbled in my head about the very idea of having to 'buy stuff'. Its not that I do not want to give to those I love (and those whose names I have drawn out of hats, boxes or tins). Its just that I am not a materialistic person. I don't care about money as long as I can make my bills and have a little left over for fun. So I find the whole commercial portion of this holiday to be annoying at best and infuriating at worst. I hear more about shopping, shipping, sales and superficial stocking stuffers than I ever hear of family, friends, fun and faith. So again- there I stood running this through my head in a very disgruntled way when I hear this conversation next to me (but not including me):

MAN: "Well, hi there! Happy Holidays."
WOMAN: "Thank you - same to you. Have you finished all your Christmas shopping yet?" (big Super Shopper smile on her face)
MAN: (says something about having to shop for his wife yet)
WOMAN: "Oh- go for the jewelry. You have to buy her jewelry. Garnets are very popular now. I would go before it gets too late!! But women ALWAYS want jewelry. You need to go out and buy her something really pretty right away!!"

Now- you should know I only drew a small amount of blood from my tongue as I chomped down on it. In all actuality, this came on the heels of yet another conversation I had heard in recent weeks in which a man was encouraged to buy jewelry for a woman in order to 'make her happy'.

Really?

When did women become so easily bought? Did I miss the announcement in the Kohl's catalogue?

 I know boyfriends have bought me earrings, rings, and such but truth be told- when I think back to holidays/birthdays seldom do I remember the 'things' that were bought for me. The only pieces I seem to remember are the ones that cost less than $20. Mainly because I know they bought them for a reason- not just because they had a big price tag with no emotional connection. Now- don't get me wrong. I did appreciate the thought of the emeralds, diamonds and gold jewelry but I must confess there many different 'things' that left a more meaningful impression with me. Here are a few of the best most wonderful gifts I ever received from beaus and why they are so incredibly memorable.....

• For Christmas one year, 'B' bought me some 'things' -I truly do not recall what they were though- what I do remember is sitting in his father's old white work van one night in the dark getting ready to go into his sister's house for Christmas Eve. When we arrived, he asked me to stay in the van for a few minutes before we went in. He then took me by my hands, looked into my eyes and told me how much he loved me. In detail. It was more emotion and more sincere than anything else I remember about our entire relationship. He talked to me all alone in that old van for what seemed like an hour (although I'm sure it was closer to 10 minutes) just telling me why he loved me so much. To this day- I can still see it in my mind. The next day he gave me presents. What kind? I have no idea.

• When I went to visit 'D' for the first time, he picked me up from the airport and carried my bags to his car. When I got into the passenger seat he handed me my favorite coffee (Yup- Caramel Macchiato Soy). He had it waiting in the cup holder because he knew how much I liked it. It was over that cup of coffee a few minutes later that he kissed me for the first time.  ~~~~ Later that night, I remember our saying goodnight for the evening and then going to bed after he left me at my hotel to go to his. About 30 minutes later, there was a knock at my door. I answered it and it was 'D'. He took my hand and said, "You know the song 'Run To You?' I can't know you're this close to me and not be here. I can't be without you. I had to come back." <- One of the most romantic things ever said to me. I could see in his eyes he truly meant it.  I can tell you that he was the one man who completely stole my heart- and he did so because he always made me feel beautiful and really important to him. He once offered to take me to a fine jewelry store to buy me a necklace. I refused and instead asked him to take me to an antique store so I could find something more 'me'. He didn't understand at first but when I explained that I liked unique pieces that fit my personality he walked around the store on his own to find me something he thought I would like. When he called me over to show me what he had found we both pointed to the same piece at the same time. The one he selected was the one that fit who I was best. That pendant was $14.00. I still wear it. Not because its jewelry but because he picked it out and understood who I was.

• One year my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas- I told him 'nothing' but that only made him press me more. So finally I said, "I want you to make it snow," knowing it was rare to have Christmas snow in Maryland. Christmas morning we exchanged gifts and he said, "Let's just go for a drive." I agreed and after about two hours of driving......... I saw snow. He had intentionally driven me to a ski resort that manufactures snow. We didn't check in- we didn't even get close to the slopes. We were in an isolated little spot by ourselves playing in the snow. It was the biggest most beautiful snow fall I had ever witnessed. Ever. I can close my eyes and still see the snowflakes- biggest ones I'd ever seen. You could actually see the patterns in them. (sidenote: I was so excited about the snow I plopped my butt to the ground and threw myself backwards to make snow angels. I forgot that I had binoculars around my neck though and they flew up and smacked me in my mouth giving me a fat lip. But I really would have remembered that day anyway.)

• When I first met 'M'- we had a mad crush on each other. After two months of flirting he finally got up the nerve to kiss me. (it was a great kiss) The next day, I came out of my office after work and found one rose and a pewter visor clip of an angel on my windshield with a note from him and a job application he had completed for the job of 'boyfriend'. That was April 25, 2005. That angel is still on my visor.

These are only some of the 'things' that have been the most valuable to me. I bet all the memories combined couldn't have cost $100.00. I didn't need expenisve things then and I don't now. Some of those memories go back twenty years. I no longer have many of the gifts I've been given through the years- but I have those special moments and memories that will last me forever.

I thought of this as I listened to the conversation next to me. Trying to be in the stupid Christmas spirit, I even held my tongue as that woman kept convincing this man - this stranger to her- that he needed to go drop a small fortune in order to be appreciated. I did a great job of keeping quiet..... until she walked away.

"Its not about jewelry." I said to the man.
He turned and looked at me. I continued- "I'm a woman. I wouldnt like jewelry. We don't all have to have expensive gifts to know we're loved."
By now, I noticed another woman standing close by who had heard it all. She was smiling at me and said, "She's right."

"What should I give her then?" he asked me as I went to get my coffee.

As I walked away, I turned and looked back at him and said, "Give her a wonderful memory. Give her a day to remember that is special to you both. It will last so much longer. And it says you love her. Just make her important."

I heard him smile and say thank you as I left with my Caramel Macchiato- touching the $14.00 pendant around my neck. I went out to my truck and smiled at the pewter angel ....and drove off with my own memories.




Happy Holidays, y'all. Hope its memoriable.